Saturday

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I have time to spend with my children and husband, I am still in the same house, my mom and mother-in-law sent us money, so I can pay bills and have a nice Christmas, I belong to a church that takes care of its own, so we have good food to eat, my Savior knows my name, I have my eyes to see with, my ears, I have a body that works, I got to see my brother and niece today, I got to go shopping, I still have a few days to pay the garbage and other bills, I have gas in the car.  I have everything I need for the day.  I made homemade mac and cheese for the twins dinner, and tomorrow we will have bacon and sausage and waffles and starfruit juice, and presents and the Sacrament, and home again for hamburgers and the Hansens brought us over a New York cheesecake and a jar of lemon curd.

Today I  decide to be  am wealthy.

Friday

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I wrote an update/holiday note to my counselor at Worksource, letting her know what was going on.
  
I read the book "The 5 lessons A Millionaire Taught Me About Life and Wealth,"  is is about changing one's attitude through  positive affirmation. "I decide to be wealthy."  It also has lessons on compound interests, and making money on one's time off. which the author did in real life, and now has the "Christmas Box" series of books, among other things, and I appreciate that Evans didn't go the motivational speaker money route, but actually produced products that people enjoy using.   It's a short read, and I'm trying it out and blogging about it, but part of the back of my head has the Saturday Night Live skits about positive affirmations.

She thanked me for the update, no comment on the book report, and offered hers and Worksource's services again.

I spent most of the day writing three articles for the neighborhood newsletter, including researching on the net and calling a couple of the places for info.  One of them (the bus system) had inaccurate information on their websites, so they're going to get it corrected now that we've discussed it.  I also went shopping with my youngest daughter, and talked to my mom.  My sister-in-law, whose baby isn't even two years old yet, may have cancer.
I stayed up too late last night, and it was just stupid stuff, going over and over the same sites, like some sort of addiction or "I don't wanna go to bed."  I did come up with the topics and did some research on them.  Have to get more done tomorrow.

Again, procrastination is not a habit to build wealth.  I should have had these articles done Thanksgiving week, and I still have three job applications to find and fill out.  Unemployment benefits have been extended again, but I still need to find a job, so that that news is something that's mildly interesting, instead of being some thing to worry over.

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Thursday

"Today I decide to be wealthy."  Repeat morning and night, and during the day, whenever.

Affirmations are nothing new.  The Greatest Salesman in the World was very popular in the '70's, and I think my dad even had a copy of it.  I got a copy of it when I was in Eugene or Logan, and tried doing it, and failed by the second chapter.  One of my friends, a former missionary, said that the affirmation sentences were all put together and was basically a mission chant.  She wasn't even aware that there was a book, let alone the preaching published for each affirmation.

Saturday Night Live mocked affirmations I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!: Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley, is still available on-line.  The author of that is now in politics; you have to believe in yourself pretty good to have that job.

But I'm still going to try this one--  Today I decide to be wealthy.  (Not become, but to be.)

One of the other things in the book was about "making money in the margins."  I'm a trained writer; I've sold a short story and a children's puzzle, so I'm also a published one, even though it was decades ago.  I should be using this talent to make some money.

And goodness knows, I still have Sister B.'s book to do, the family history books and the neighborhood newsletter, all today.







 

4th post

Yesterday, I didn't do a very good job of being wealthy.  I don't think that spending an hour playing a game on msn is a wealthy way to spend time, but I did it anyway.

Decide.  I keep thinking of "today I choose to be wealthy."  Well, maybe "choose" might be a better selection, but "decide" is what happens after choice.  Eenie, meenie, minie, choose, I decide this.

Today was a bit better spent.  I got the presents and the paperwork ready for Park and Rec and drove up there.  The bronze deer at the round-a-bout were decorated with wreaths and ribbons, and the buck had a red clown nose on, and its eyes had a different, glaring look that I didn't recall in the summer.

The parking lot had so few cars in it, and the receptionist sent me back to my former supervisor's office.  There were Christmas cards and decorations and a tree in the lunch room.  There were about ten who were hanging out, waiting for the 4 p.m. dismissal.  They ignored me, but the group at the table in the trailer all said, "Hi, Barb!"  when I walked in.  So it was nice, and my supervisor was happy to see me.

I mailed my time sheet, deposited some Christmas checks, bought vegetables for the diner.

We had dinner with another family, who lives down the road.  I remember when she was afraid of losing her house a few years ago.  Her mom was moved out a nursing home into her house, and she took care of her, and was paid to do it.  When her mom died, her husband got a full-time job, and a couple of her children moved home, and had jobs, helping to pay the mortgage, and the stress and fear seemed to be gone.

Today I decide to be wealthy.  

One of my daughters is making a gingerbread castle, and the dog is begging for someone to play with her, and I finally mended some clothes (and forgot to mend some others), and I made the royal frosting, and tomorrow I will get up and call and write and do work that I've been procrastinating.  I put up a small tree on the table in the front room, a stuffed toy one, and I ran Christmas lights around it, so now it seems a bit more like Christmas.

To my mind, the wealthy do not procrastinate.  

Another day

So now it's been a few days. 


I need to get my hair cut, clean the house, write thank yous, deposit a check, pay a bill, make the bed, and so forth.  And find a job and file my unemployment, er, underemployment claim from last week.  Sunshiny day outside, and we had food to eat, hot water, etc.

Speaking of hot water, the power bill was horribly high last month, probably from me trying to get warm after getting home from work, by staying too long in the shower and turning on the wall heater so that the bathroom would be warm, which it wasn't at times, as someone would come in, and turn on the ceiling fan and leave the bathroom door open.  Not one of these would help me become wealthy.

I'll be taking stuff back to the library that was due today.  I could put on "renew," but that gets old.  Besides, the yoga magazine is taking up room and is putting off a definite odor of guilt--it's suggestion to become a new person is to get out of bed early in the morning, and don't linger.  Hellooo, it's doubtless very warm in the morning there, but it's pretty chilly here, and a warm bed for a while there was the only time all day I'd feel like I wasn't on the verge of freezing.  Although I do like the idea of becoming a new person, one who does yoga and eats healthy and looks like it.

Part of being wealthy yesterday was to go through the fridge and prepare the vegetables, so that carrots, celery, etc. were all on plates, ready to eat, top shelf.  Healthy, healthy, healthy!  And I made sour cream cookies.  Not healthy.

So today, husband is at work (hurray!), and I have the house stuff to do.

Today I decide to be wealthy.  Which means today, to get somethings in order.  And paid.  Looking at the date, it's also the last day to send Christmas cards.  Which is why I usually send "Happy New Year" cards. 

And "today" means "today, I will stay off the computer for the next 6 hours and do many routine and necessary things, after I file with the state."  After all, I did work 19 hours last week (rounded up) and earn $209.25.  Which I will be paid for in January, and which will be deducted from this latest claim, as it should be.

Today I decide to be wealthy.  And it's almost 11:30 a.m.
 

Third day. Definitions.

Monday, December 19

Today.  I decide. To be. Wealthy.

Today.  Okay, that means "not the past," and it sure doesn't mean that old joke, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."  It means "today."  I keep hanging on to a lot of crap of hurt of why I'm not financially in better shape, and I've got to let it go.  I've even gone to a 12-step program to deal with my anger and disappointment about the choices I've made in my life.  So I've got let it go, and just deal with today.  And not be like the totally irresponsible song, "Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine," which is about ditching the person that the singer is singing too, and anyway, it's winter, so no blossoms.  There are a thousand platitudes about "today."  Just deal with it.  Whatever!

I decide.  My responsibility is to take care of myself.  However, I'm also taking care of my immediate family.  I'm afraid, though, that this responsibility to take care of myself means that others will be dumped, like in A Cambodian Odyssey, when in the chapter, "The Selfish and the Dying," that people deserted their spouses when they were unable to keep walking.  The person would be on the ground, calling out, "Sweet!  Sweet!" to their life partner, who would shrug and keep walking   No dumping.  I need to decide to take responsibility for the stuff I'm supposed to be doing.  Like know what the health insurance covers and what it doesn't and get the paper work in and the bills paid.

To be.  Not "or not to be."  To be in the moment.  And then my former supervisor calls and wants to know when will I ever get that paperwork turned in that's a month late?  And the neighborhood association president wants the newsletter to get ready for January by Dec. 23.  I'm always a bit shocked that there's a day after Dec. 31st.  I guess it shows in my lack of life planning.

Wealthy.  Define wealthy.  I'm wealthy in that I actually have land around my house, and a nice woodlot next door, and not living in some jammed-together neighborhood.  I have a nice dog.  I have a nice husband who worries over the dog.  My mother-in-law sent money for Christmas, so I can now pay utilities.  I have my health, my husband has his, so he's able to fix himself breakfast and dinner.  The car works.  There's money for gas.  The girls are all healthy, and have nice lives at the moment.

So for the purpose of this blog, to be wealthy would mean that

• I have my bills paid 
• I have employment to be able to sock some money away for the next illness or bout of unemployment
• I have three months worth of living expenses saved,
• I have the funds to go to the next college graduation and a job that will allow me to go. 
• I have my health, including lower blood pressure and less weight and better grooming.  
• That I look like I'm wealthy in that I'm neatly dressed and I don't look like a slob. 
• And if we have to live in an apartment, that it isn't a creepy stinky noisy one.  
• And some health insurance, please. I'd like to go skiing on the free ski days at Hoodoo and not worry about what would happen if my husband and I break our legs.
• My gall bladder surgery is paid off
• The student load is paid off

So though I'm not there yet, I'd like to be headed in that direction by the end of these two months.

First day of blog, second day of test

The 5 lessons A Millionaire Taught Me About Life and Wealth by Richard Paul Evans, is a small book, featuring five keys for financial success.  I'm going to put the first key to the test.  And I'm going to keep a record, to see if and how it works.

You, dear reader, are invited to tag along.

For the first key, Evans suggests writing "Today I decide to be wealthy," and put it someplace where I will read it, morning and night, and someplace else, like next to my credit card, where I will see it often.  Personally, I think that the credit card suggestion was suppose to be a reminder not to use the credit card, and I don't have anymore credit cards, just my unemployment Reliacard.  Instead, I've put a sticky note on my computer screen, and have it here where I can see it, and be reminded every time I log on.

I am to do this for two months.  So we'll see where I'm at on February 18, 2012.

So here I am now.  I am underemployed, living in Bend, Oregon, which has been in recessions more than other parts of the country.  I am 55 years old.  My husband and I got a bankruptcy lawyer, who told us that we don't need to file, as we have no assets to protect.  My husband has a vocation, but it's in construction, so we are really, really sunk.  We get food boxes from the church.  Fortunately, our children are grown, though they still aren't on their own, as they are in college, on grants, scholarships and loans.

I am a college graduate, though I don't put what year on my job applications.  I graduated in Journalism/Public Relations.  I had a bit of a career of it, before I got married and moved here. I realized my career was dead in the water, when I went to bid on a PR job, and was asked if I had a modem and a fax machine.  No.  What I had instead was this:  three preschool children, a house going through major renovations, a car that was always needing repairs, no money, no extended family to help me, and a husband whose own career needed constant attention. It's been twenty years since that day, and my PR jobs have been volunteer work with the local school's PTA, helping out with press releases for a couple of events at the church, writing a few articles for the neighborhood association newsletter, and working behind a cash register at the local Kroger.

Did I mention that the cash register gig has been over with for over two years?  (That the family had employer-paid health and dental insurance?) That's how long I've been un- and underemployed. Fortunately, I'm not what is referred to as a 99er, as I've had temporary jobs, both part-time and full-time.  But I don't see any end to the crushing financial mess we're in now.

At the end of his book, Evans says one of his purposes of writing is to give hope.

I would like some hope.  I would like to hope that next year. I'll be someone putting Christmas presents on the church and community's "angel trees."  I'd like to hope that I'll have the resources to visit my daughters when they graduate from college.  I'd like to hope that this mess will get under control, and that I will pay off my medical bills, have decent health insurance and keep up with my utilities and other household bills and get ahead in my finances.

I'd like to hope that my hopes will be fulfilled.

Please.