Showing posts with label NeighborImpact. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NeighborImpact. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

January 2015

I am packing the house up.  We are doing a deed-in-lieu with the bank, so they take the house, and we take to the road.  We are waiting for a phone call from the property management company that will be responsible for the 90 days lease, so we will be here a few more months, but I will be going back to work at Parks and Rec. in April, if all goes well.  I now have over $7000 of medical bills, thanks to my breast cancer scare, and $5000 of it is still the gall bladder surgery.  But a scare is still cheaper than the real thing, so it's just sand in the shoe, not a foot amputation that I'm whining about.

I'm going through decades of stuff, hindered by my own acts of wasting time on the internet, stress eating, and general procrastination.  I have some shelves done, but nowhere where I wanted to be at this time.  And I still haven't arranged for the cats' shots and microchips, so that if they disappear, there's a chance they'll be identified if someone finds them somewhere else after we move.

While packing framed pictures, I found a snapshot from 1978, of me cooking in my college apartment. I am so thin, so very thin!  My hair is brown and thick and long, and is tied back while I beat something in a bowl.  I have my blue workshirt and my blue jeans.  On the door of the pantry is a Smokey Bear bumper sticker:  "Prevent range fires."   The cupboard doors and drawers are all ajar instead of being neatly shut, and I am reminded of people who have pointed out what I slob I am in the kitchen.

I'm getting my mind wrapped around the idea of leaving here, and finding a new place, where the place is clean and bright, and it's just Doug and me, and the junk is gone.  The cats wander in and out of my imagination--sometimes they're with Rachel, sometimes they're with someone else, sometimes with us.  At the new place, I'll be closer to things in town, and I'll be better able to go to events and maybe bike to work, walk on sidewalks and maybe the place will have a gym, but whom am I kidding?  I have free weights here by the computer I haven't touched in months, and a road that I've walked on for miles outside the door that I only look at now from my kitchen window.

The girl in the photo would be puzzled at what I've done to myself. I think I'll end this post with an upnote:  I did my yoga this morning! 



Thursday, March 8, 2012

77

I called June and offered to take her to the library, which she accepted. 
I got the OHSI paper delivered to NeighborImpact, and we shopped at the new DollarTree, and had lunch at Reye's Mexican restaurant. She also gave me $20 for gas, which I gratefully accepted.

I mended some clothes and returned them to her, and deposited Elizabeth's paychecks that had arrived in the mail today.

I keep thinking about the cloth/curtain that I saw at Goodwill, and imagining it on a very thin me.
I've eaten so many calories today, it's just awful. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

54 Today is Thursday

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I did stair laps today, to get my heart rate up.  I did some laundry.  I did dishes.  I looked at the computer. I got a notice back for NeighborImpact that my documents have been sent to the state for verification.  I wrote a newsletter article. I stayed inside the house, except when I went to put gas in the car.  I got a bill from the doctor's office, for going in to have my heart listened to, my blood pressure taken,  and to be sent to get my blood tested at another place, which still charged me money.

Money.  I have no idea how to pay all of my bills.  My husband has some work, but when will he be paid?  I have work, and I will be paid next month, while my unemployment takes a hit.  I don't want anymore taken out of the 401(k) account.

It's day 54. Six more days to go to the magical 60 that the book set out as a goal, that perhaps things would be different.

I'll probably continue this blog.

My depression seems to get worse each day. I am grateful for food to eat, for my bed that I sleep in, that I am still in my house, and have gas for my car.  I am trying not to imagine the future, but to stay here in the present.  My youngest daughter sent me a note through Facebook, telling me that she loves me and her father, my husband.  I played the keyboard today.  Tomorrow I have work for a few hours. I feel sorry for the people freezing in Afghanistan.  I feel bad for the people of Cambodia, not having their day in court.

I had made a "to do" list, and I did accomplish a couple of items on it.  Maybe tomorrow will be one of accomplishments.

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

53 25 things I should have done...

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Got the verification papers into NeighborImpact!  (I still need to get the budget papers done and handed in.)

While I was going through box and box of papers, I found this.

25 Things I should'a, would'a, could'a while I was unemployed.

I. While I was employed
  A. Tried to expand my knowledge of Fred Meyer (jewelry, home, apparel, etc.)
  B.  Tried to expand my skills
       1.  Uscan
       2.  Front desk  BUT I was afraid I'd make a mistake and be fired as Carlene and Nick were (even though they were hired back)
       3.  Child's department.  (in-store babysitting)  I was qualified-didn't do it. Didn't think until now.
  C. Bought new clothes (needed them for job interviews later)  Needed every penny for the family
  D. Took care of my health
      1. Physical checkups (cost $100 a visit, even with insurance)
      2. Lost weight/exercise
  E.  Been more diligent in volunteering My being available and coming in whenever called got me up to Journeyman & got the max I could for my unemployment benefit





When I became unemployed-
1. I should have gotten a blessing.  I didn't until I'd been unemployed for 6 months
2. I was fired in July. I did work on exercise and walking the butte.
3. When September came, I should have started my school volunteer work
    1.  I had the idea to volunteer Tuesdays at High Desert Middle School--didn't  (gas costs money)
    2. I could have volunteered at Bend High Library or Elk Meadow or Pine Ridge or Jewell or all three media centers (gas costs money)
   3.  I should have thought about where I wanted work, and volunteered there. Like Park and Rec., COCC library. I could have increased my network and made a nicer resume.
________________

So I didn't even make it to 25 items.  Just as well.  I need to just work on getting a job this go-around. Although I do have work on Friday at Pine Ridge, and it looks like I'll be working on the budget thing tomorrow for NeighborImpact. And applying for work at Goodwill and something I saw on the WorkSource site.

(What is it, with all of these combined words?)

Oh, and Touchmark sent me my official word that I didn't get the job. And I'm still here.

Today I decide to be wealthy.





Tuesday, February 7, 2012

52 And another day

 Today I decide to be wealthy.

I woke up in the morning and thought about getting the paperwork all pulled together.  And then thought about how I didn't have a document 1099 from Sister Boyce, about my working for her. I'll have to find the records I have.

I found the last two bank statements I needed.  They were with the other ones, but behind a divider. I'd gotten up early and felt sleepy in mid-morning and dreamed that a couple of people I'd known at Fred Meyer were asking me to return. I know it has far more to do with my own loneliness than anything else.

One of my daughters called. She was excited about her grad school interview. She still doesn't have a job, but she may have a chance at being accepted in a master's program at a quiet university. It would be interesting it she got it--the third generation in that town! My mom got her bachelor's there, and I lived next to campus when I lived there while trying to make it on my own.  (I ended up going back to U. of Oregon. I should have stayed another year for my grandmother's sake and to grow up more.)

In the afternoon, I went to the school and assisted in taking care of a couple of kids that need one-to-one attention. One is a small girl with Down's Syndrome, who doesn't talk.  I thought about my own daughters, and how hard it would have been to take care of her, and wondered about the girl's parents.

I went to the copy shop to copy the papers, and make sure I had everything with our names and our case/loan number on the top, and then I got groceries and came home.

 Today I decide to be wealthy.

Monday, February 6, 2012

51 A new day

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I got called to work at Pine Ridge Elementary for a few hours in the afternoon, and asked if I'd work a couple more tomorrow. I did recess duty, and helped with reading classes.  Some of the kids were the same ones I'd worked with before, and they were happy to see me. They told their teacher that they didn't like another substitute they'd had the week before.

Tina came by to visit teach me in the morning.  She asked about if I'd go back to Fred Meyer. She was the third person to ask me that.

Short answer:  I really, seriously doubt that the store management would hire me back.

I found one of the missing papers I need for NeighborImpact.

I need to get more applications out, and I need to work on my family history book and Sister Boyce's book. Those are what I find myself thinking about when all is quiet.

 Today I decide to be wealthy.





Friday, February 3, 2012

48 Odds and ends

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I found the January statement, and discovered that there was no statement in February, due to inactivity on the Redicard that month. (I was working full-time, and did not collect unemployment.) So now I'll get the stuff ready to go to NeighborImpact on Monday.

I spent the day looking for it, going through box after box, except for when I went to get my eyes checked and to go shopping, and when I was exercising.

The blood vessels in my eyes show some damage from high blood pressure. No surprise there.

There is an advertisement showing an over-weight dog exercising and loosing its weight, starting with stair exercises, where it would drop a ball down the stairs and go get it and carry it back up, and then do it over again. I have stairs in my house...so when my husband was gone on a job, I cranked up my playlist on the computer, and did the stairs.  Good workout!

Today I decide to be wealthy

Thursday, February 2, 2012

47 Paperwork fills the day

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Today I worked on finding and making copies of the documents I need for NeighborImpact's verification for us to be able to stay in the house a bit longer. I went to the library and to the copy shop.  I also went to a gym to find out about fees, and one of the companies I applied to on-line had a job come open here, and I needed to go to the library and use a computer to update/complete the job application.

Right now, I appreciate not having an outside job, as I'm able to work on the verification documents.

I found all but four of them, which are dated the same two months, so I suspect that they're together, in some strata of papers from January and February.

Bedtime now. I'll look tomorrow.

Today I decide to be wealthy.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

46 Another blank

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I practiced the piano today. I worked on some paper work for the house, for NeighborImpact and OHSI. I deposited my unemployment checks. I exercised.  I found myself grieving for the future loss of this house. The printer doesn't work anymore, and the other printer is not hooked to this computer. So everything either goes through the other computer or I'll have to go to the library to print stuff out. And the keyboard is acting weak, too.

I'm reading a book,  Children of Cambodia's killing fields : memoirs by survivors / compiled by Dith Pran.  

They lost their homes, their parents, their siblings, their families, their youth. They came to the United States and were serious about their schooling and their futures. Many report still having nightmares.

I found the church's employment handbook. I'll go through it better that I did last time.

Today I decide to be wealthy.








Friday, January 13, 2012

Day 27

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Last night I was up until 3 a.m. working on papers needed to continue our participation in a government program.  This is how we are still in our house--we qualified for a program that "loans" us our mortgage for a year.  It seems that there are new requirements from time to time. 

I am afraid of making a mistake that will cause us to lose the program, and our home, and where will we stay then?  These are papers about budgeting; I should have been doing this 20, even 30 years ago, but the same problems then are the same now: There is no regular income.  And there is no line for tithing on the paper.  (The church has given us food and cleaning supplies and Christmas gift cards.)

We got the papers in, apparently at the same time someone was calling our house in a panic to tell us to get them in.  I'd already talked with the NeighborImpact worker on Tuesday, and he said no worries, just get them in by Friday.  So I procrastinated and did my unemployment resign in and housework instead.  I even did my yoga and exercises in the evening.  (Why do I have such a hard time doing them, when I feel so good afterwards?)

After dropping the papers off at Worksource, we went to Sisters, and Doug changed a lightbulb that was on top of a very tall light pole, and he did a few other things around the building.  The owner is one of our first customers, and we've had him for at least 10 years. 

Tomorrow will be spent sending out letters and applications for the week.  I remind myself that the more I send out, the greater the chances of someone helping me to connect with a job that I will succeed in.

My mother-in-law called, and let us know that she is sending us some money, and is sending some to the girls too.  (I wept after I gave the phone to my husband.) So the bills will be paid in January, while I continue to look for work.  My unemployment amount will be way less than it has been, and I will not receive anything for my so-called "waiting week," which is a week where one waits to see if the last employer will call with another job--as if!

Today I decide to be wealthy.