72 Larry King's story

I'm still reading it. There's a discussion of wealth, and what it means to people in its pages.

We have money to pay our insurances, and to buy gas and food. Tithing, too!

57 Take a deep breath

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Why do I want to be wealthy?  Or in this definition, why do I want money?

To pay my bills.  To be able to share.  To not worry where I will sleep in the future.  To be able to take care of my health.  To be able to have freedom to go to town without worry about the gas in the car.  To help my daughters if they need it. Sarah will, when she gets out of school.  Elizabeth will, if she doesn't find work soon.

I paid my tithing today.

I miss my daughters sitting with me.   The Holmes baby is having "routine" heart surgery tomorrow.  Brenda sat next to me in Relief Society, and I told her about my visit with her son.

I wanted the bishop to say something to me before I left the church building. I was considering asking for help again from the bishop's Storehouse.  I was sitting in the foyer, when he walked by.

"How are you? and how are the girls?" he asked (he was headed out to get something from his car.)

"The girls are fine," I said.

"And how are you," he said, ten feet away from me, and everyone listening.

I hesitated, and he smiled at me.

"Everything is going to turn out fine," he said, and then headed to get something from his car.

Tomorrow, I have a lot to do.

Today I decide to be wealthy.

56 Looking back, looking forward, looking to God

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Lesson #2 in the books is to "take ownership" of one's finances.

I realize that I am so deep in doo-doo financially.  I have good intentions, like making charts showing what bills need to be paid, and I do make them, and then misplace them. I intend to make phone calls, and then forget. I find one excuse after another not to follow through. I went through my check books to see how much I still had out, and how much was available for paying bills.  Tithing money was put into money orders yesterday, so that it wouldn't go through the checking account, so that I wouldn't mistake it as mine.  "Pay your tithing and a fast offering," Elder Golden said. "Many people in Africa are very poor, but they do it, and miracles happen."  I see myself as still being in this financial situation for the indefinite future, but really, if it were anything else, would I do any better?  I think a certain woman I know has been through three or four marriages, and now she's single again, and on disability.  Would I handle her challenges any better?

I have three major job applications that need (for my sake) to be turned in on Monday.  Deadline for one is the 12th, another is the 22nd.  The other one, I'll turn in Monday, when I go to town in the afternoon.  Today I worked on Ida's book, got some research materials, and I also combed the internet, looking for jobs to apply to.   One of the people I used to work for told me that it was just as well that I didn't get hired on at Touchmark, and explained why.

I noticed when I was driving down Third Street, that the dry cleaners has vacated its building. The laundromat is still there.  The real estate agency that was a couple of blocks away was also empty.  Grover's Pub, where one of my co-workers said had the best pizza in town, had its lights turned off.  Craigslist has more openings, but they are professional ones.  I suspect that people are still moving out of the area.

Monday I'll take these applications in, and go apply at motels as a motel maid, at the larger motels, and go to Labor Ready, which is a work-today, pay-today/job placement and Goodwill, which is also a job placement place.

I was at Fred Meyer, and saw two of my former coworkers and a young man who works there, who is the same age as my daughters, whom I used to teach in church.  I said hi to them, and they back as we walked past each other, and Shelly stopped to care about me, asking me how I was doing, and giving me her time, showing that she cares.  She could see that I was just figurative when I said that I was doing fine.  "Hang in there, she said, "that's all you can do sometimes."

I thought some about a talk in church a Sunday or so ago:

We people are first watch people, but God is a fourth watch God.  The speaker explained that the Hebrew day in the Bible was divided into night and day, with the day having twelve hours and night having four three-hour watches.  God will always answer our prayers, but in His time. We want our prayers answered now, but God sometimes wants us to learn something first, and sometimes what we want or need takes time to arrange, but they will be answered, even though the answer is not what we would have thought it would be.


I had my blessing last Sunday, and I was told that Heavenly Father is aware of my challenges.


Today I decide to be wealthy.

Day 36. The Greatest Saleman in the World

Today I decide to be wealthy.

After yesterday's rant, I feel better.  I went to Sacrament Meeting, and enjoyed being there, knowing that if I have another job that requires week-end work, that it will be a while before I'd be able to be there again. I love being in Sacrament Meeting, and being able to take the Sacrament, and to sit with my husband, and know that my children are also at Sacrament Meeting, wherever they are.  I like feeling the fellowship around me, and to know that I'm part of something that goes back to other times, and other places, including sitting with my grandmother in her ward's meetings, and how happy she was that I was with her, and how proud she was of me.

In Relief Society, I went ahead and signed up for cookie donations for the blood drive and to have the missionaries over for dinner on February's Fast Sunday.  I'll make something ahead, like macaroni and cheese, and have some broccoli to go with it.  Linda Rau and I decided to go visiting teaching tomorrow. I paid tithing.  And I just stayed in the moment.  I didn't worry, but I did pray that I'll be able to pay off my medical bills.  I didn't feel stressed or panicky when I prayed it.

I saw Wendy after church, and thanked her for her Sacrament talk last year, and how I tried what she suggested, and the good results I got from following her direction.  She was happy for me, and glad that it helped me.

We had pot roast for dinner.  It was from the Bishop's Storehouse, in December or November.  I'm glad to have food in the house, and to have a house to eat and sleep in.  I feel wealthy.

Later tonight, my middle daughter called and told me about her not-so-great time at school.  She's a senior in a ward full of freshmen, and everyone is a bit disorganized, so she hasn't been able to work with a committee.  She has a rather negative attitude about the people around her, that everyone is "dumb."  Unfortunately, she's had the attitude for a long time.

I'm reminded of a book I read when I was a bit older that she is now.  It was "The World's Greatest Salesman," by  Og Mandino.  There was one part that sort of stuck with me, probably about the only one I used, and that was to think, "I love you," to people when I met them.  Don't say it, just think it.
I've got to figure a way to suggest it to her, so she'll want to try it.

I'm going to send her cards, too, while she's there, to encourage her.  I've talked to her about seeing a counselor, but she's heard other counselors gossip about the people they're supposed to be helping, so she's not going to, as she doesn't want that to happen to her.

I haven't worked on my books today, or on my computer area.  There is still time in this day to do something good.

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Day 27

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Last night I was up until 3 a.m. working on papers needed to continue our participation in a government program.  This is how we are still in our house--we qualified for a program that "loans" us our mortgage for a year.  It seems that there are new requirements from time to time. 

I am afraid of making a mistake that will cause us to lose the program, and our home, and where will we stay then?  These are papers about budgeting; I should have been doing this 20, even 30 years ago, but the same problems then are the same now: There is no regular income.  And there is no line for tithing on the paper.  (The church has given us food and cleaning supplies and Christmas gift cards.)

We got the papers in, apparently at the same time someone was calling our house in a panic to tell us to get them in.  I'd already talked with the NeighborImpact worker on Tuesday, and he said no worries, just get them in by Friday.  So I procrastinated and did my unemployment resign in and housework instead.  I even did my yoga and exercises in the evening.  (Why do I have such a hard time doing them, when I feel so good afterwards?)

After dropping the papers off at Worksource, we went to Sisters, and Doug changed a lightbulb that was on top of a very tall light pole, and he did a few other things around the building.  The owner is one of our first customers, and we've had him for at least 10 years. 

Tomorrow will be spent sending out letters and applications for the week.  I remind myself that the more I send out, the greater the chances of someone helping me to connect with a job that I will succeed in.

My mother-in-law called, and let us know that she is sending us some money, and is sending some to the girls too.  (I wept after I gave the phone to my husband.) So the bills will be paid in January, while I continue to look for work.  My unemployment amount will be way less than it has been, and I will not receive anything for my so-called "waiting week," which is a week where one waits to see if the last employer will call with another job--as if!

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Day 22

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I am now more than a third through the trial period.

The 5 lessons are --my note are in italics:

1. decide to be wealthy  --doing that part now
2. take responsibility for your money. --working on it
3. keep a portion of everything you earn  --does left over coins in the coat pocket count?
4. win in the margins --find some way to make money that's during your non-regular paycheck time
5. give back --tithing and charity.

I've always done #5.  I've paid tithing since I was a child, and my mom told me not to, as it cost the church more to process the nickel than it was worth.  So I guess in a way, paying my tithing was a form of rebellion against my mom, but it was still keeping the commandment to put God first, first.  So keeping the commandment to love God is honoring my mom.

Anyway, Malachi 3:10--- Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

I also give a fast offering once a month.  A fast offering is when we fast for at least two meals and give the money we would have spent on them to the bishop.  The church uses it to help the poor (like me).  Fast offerings fund the Bishop's Storehouses.  When I had a regular paycheck, I usually gave $20 a month.  Now it's $10.  For $10, that could buy a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, a pound of butter. The last time I got food from the storehouse, it was before the girls came home from college.  I'd say that we got $100 worth of groceries, if not more.  Dairy, canned foods, soaps, baking ingredients, as if we'd gone to the store and bought it all.  (I'd gotten some meats before, and someone was cleaning out their family freezer and gave us some more.)


I would like to give $100 every month, with $200 at Christmas time. Perhaps sometime in this life, I will be able to do that. The largest I gave was $300, when my aunt died and left me some money in her will.  (We paid off the septic system and the water hook-up with most of it.) 

My girls are in college or graduated, and they have good lives.  My husband and I are still together, and we are still in our house.  If we need to, we can get some more food from the Bishop's Storehouse. Our parents are in good health, and we have gas in the car.  We went over to the town where my brother and his family live, and had a nice visit.  We are still so very broke, but at least we are still breathing.


From time to time, I give small donations to other charities.


Tomorrow I have a one-time job doing inventory at a store.  $10 an hour, maybe five hours at the most.  If I had a regular job, this would be part of Lesson #4.


Today I decide to be wealthy.