Tuesday

The company that has the hospital's account called this morning.  I hadn't made my $50 payment for the month, but were willing to take the $30, as I explained that I needed to buy shoes for the job starting in April, and that I would be able to make it up in May. 

Last night, my husband and I did our family home evening project of going over to Jeanette's house, to see if there was any service work we could do, visit her for Home Teaching, and to deliver the RS announcements.  Jeannette was headed over to her friend's Jan's home--her oldest son died.  (Not a surprise, as he'd been ill for years.)  I volunteered to take over a veggie tray in the morning.

We stopped at Albertson's and got sliced ham on sale, and a Redbox movie, "Cowboys and Aliens," and I made hard boiled eggs and peeled carrots and made a celery and carrots tray.  The movie was awful, and I ended up going to bed way past midnight.

This morning  I shelled the eggs, found a large plastic tray, and put out the ham and sliced cheese and the eggs on it, and took them and the carrots and celery and a box of nice crackers to Jan's house, arriving just in time, as she and her other son had just arrived back from the mortuary, as they delivered the clothes for her oldest son, and her grandchildren were expected at any minute.

I felt blessed to know that I had brought what was needed, at the right time.

Day 44 What is needed

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I had a hard time getting started today.  I just waste so much time.

At 2:00 Linda and I went visiting teaching to a young wife and mother we've been with for a while.  Linda has been with her for a lot longer time.  We got there as she and her husband were having a fight--he'd been drinking, and, worse, was denying it.  I listened to him for a while, and suggested bringing back a pizza when we returned.

We took her to a restaurant, where Linda bought some appetizers and let her talk.  Linda gently reminded her that he was a good man, and that alcoholism is a hard thing, and that she knew he had the problem when they first got together.  She also suggested that she come back to church, and that he go to  the 12-step meetings.  There were some other family needs--a couch needed to be taken to the dump, stuff to Goodwill, and a stray cat to the Humane Society.

We went to the pizza place.  I didn't have any coupons to save a couple of dollars.  I took out my unemployment card, and thought about how all the money in the world is God's, and that I was given money to help others. And I bought the pizza,and we took her back to her apartment.  Her husband was apparently in one of the bedrooms, watching television.  We got the stuff that needed to go to Goodwill, hugged, made arrangements for Saturday, and left.  So lesson #5 was put into action today

On the way home, I bought some sour cream and after I got home, made some cookies for June, who had invited my husband and I over for dinner.  Doug ended up working in Prineville for a while longer, and missed the dinner.

Doug said that Bank of America had sent us a 1099, for $6,000, and that we were going to have to pay taxes on it, of about $2,000, and that if I had agreed to declare bankruptcy back then, we wouldn't even have had to pay taxes.  I thought about how if we'd declared bankruptcy, we probably wouldn't be in the house right now.  He was going to take money out of our 401(k) again, but I suggested that the government does take payments.  I reminded him that we didn't declare bankruptcy as we had no assets to protect.  I remembered later that if we have cancer or something drastic health-wise, we'd be stuck.

Tonight is Antiques Roadshow.  We'll watch it, as it was done in Eugene, Oregon, and see all the stuff that people have and how valuable it is, and daydream what could have been done if we'd had the money instead.

When I read the Book of Mormon last night, I just opened it at random and saw this:


Behold, could ye suppose that ye could sit upon your thrones, and because of the exceeding goodness of God ye could do nothing and he would deliver you? Behold, if ye have supposed this ye have supposed in vain.  (Alma 60:11)


So I felt like a slug after I read it, and thought of it this morning while I waited for the phone to ring with an interview or a job offer.  I felt, though, visiting the young woman, that I was supposed to be there today.

Later in the day, a former coworker at Freddy's, who has been having her own employment misadventures, posted this on Facebook:

“One of the most poisonous of all Satan’s whispers is simply, “Things will never change.” That lie kills expectation, trapping our heart forever in the present. To keep desire alive and flourishing, we must renew our vision for what lies ahead. Things will not always be like this. Jesus has promised to “make all things new.” Eye has not seen, ear has not heard all that God has in store for his lovers, which does not mean “we have no clue so don’t even try to imagine,” but rather, you cannot out-dream God. Desire is kept alive by imagination, the antidote to resignation. We will need imagination, which is to say, we will need hope. 

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Day 25

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Not much to report today.  Got some minor clothing mending for some friends of mine and I opened up "Writer's Market" for 2010 that I checked out of the library a couple of weeks ago.

Step #3 is to "Win in the Margins," to find some talent or skill or idea that can be used for a profit.  The book had some women who were in financial duress when they came up with the ideas that made them their fame and fortunes.

When I applied for unemployment, I had to go to a workshop about using the career finding resources, and I and two others were called out at the end, and we met with someone who talked to us about creating our own businesses.  I asked about what if I became a writer, and that was immediately shot down.  Which is probably just as well, as I haven't even finished two of my fanfiction books.

Today I saw the guy I blame for the mess we're in. I blame him when I'm not blaming myself for taking his idiotic, abusive financial crap paper and throwing it into the fireplace when I first laid eyes on it.


So, anyway, I dropped in at the Goodwill thrift store, to check on some art supplies that I find there from time to time, and there he was, in the book section.  He hadn't seen me, we didn't make eye contact, so I kept going through the store to get to the fabric section.  (I want to make some steampunk clothing and some other stuff), and there was his third wife, cheerfully going through the clothing.  I said hi, but she either didn't hear me or ignored me, and I kept going.  I did a quick check of table linens and picture frames, and then the yarn area, and then headed out the door.  As I left, I saw that he had his back turned to the door.

I don't think things are going any better than for him.  And the scriptures and the prophets say that I need to pray for him to receive the same blessings that I want for myself.  I wish that I could just let it go, and get on with my life.  It seems that almost every dayI have to deal with it again.

Forgiveness is a process.  Just like some people can have cancer and be instantly healed, and others have to keep working at healing. 

Anyway, today was supposed to be about step #3.  I still have yet to find my pay stubs from my October and November job and reopen my unemployment claim.  Now I'll get off the computer, finish putting in the zipper on the jacket, and go through the papers and find the pay stubs that I know are in there, as I just put them in the box a week ago.

I haven't been exercising, and I've been over-eating.  Wealthy people take care of their health.  I did send off the COBRA payments for the dental and eye glasses insurances.  Haven't paid any other bills for this month, yet.

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Day 22

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I am now more than a third through the trial period.

The 5 lessons are --my note are in italics:

1. decide to be wealthy  --doing that part now
2. take responsibility for your money. --working on it
3. keep a portion of everything you earn  --does left over coins in the coat pocket count?
4. win in the margins --find some way to make money that's during your non-regular paycheck time
5. give back --tithing and charity.

I've always done #5.  I've paid tithing since I was a child, and my mom told me not to, as it cost the church more to process the nickel than it was worth.  So I guess in a way, paying my tithing was a form of rebellion against my mom, but it was still keeping the commandment to put God first, first.  So keeping the commandment to love God is honoring my mom.

Anyway, Malachi 3:10--- Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

I also give a fast offering once a month.  A fast offering is when we fast for at least two meals and give the money we would have spent on them to the bishop.  The church uses it to help the poor (like me).  Fast offerings fund the Bishop's Storehouses.  When I had a regular paycheck, I usually gave $20 a month.  Now it's $10.  For $10, that could buy a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, a pound of butter. The last time I got food from the storehouse, it was before the girls came home from college.  I'd say that we got $100 worth of groceries, if not more.  Dairy, canned foods, soaps, baking ingredients, as if we'd gone to the store and bought it all.  (I'd gotten some meats before, and someone was cleaning out their family freezer and gave us some more.)


I would like to give $100 every month, with $200 at Christmas time. Perhaps sometime in this life, I will be able to do that. The largest I gave was $300, when my aunt died and left me some money in her will.  (We paid off the septic system and the water hook-up with most of it.) 

My girls are in college or graduated, and they have good lives.  My husband and I are still together, and we are still in our house.  If we need to, we can get some more food from the Bishop's Storehouse. Our parents are in good health, and we have gas in the car.  We went over to the town where my brother and his family live, and had a nice visit.  We are still so very broke, but at least we are still breathing.


From time to time, I give small donations to other charities.


Tomorrow I have a one-time job doing inventory at a store.  $10 an hour, maybe five hours at the most.  If I had a regular job, this would be part of Lesson #4.


Today I decide to be wealthy.