Post-season, November 2013

I've completed my third season as a custodian for the local parks district.  I'm still working winters, substituting in the schools, but I've had only two calls but they were while I was still cleaning restrooms.  I've completed my required coursework on identifying and reporting abuse, dealing with blood pathogens, and avoiding the appearance of being a child molester, so I've received my new tag, showing that I'm a official employee with the education service district until October 2014.

My husband is working, and has been working now for months.  When he was hired, he was told to expect just a few weeks.  One daughter now has a full-time, benefits paid job, complete with use of the company's gym and her own parking space, even though she lives close enough to walk to work.  Another daughter is in Boston today, at a conference.  She is getting her masters in public health and has some concerns of what she'll be doing for employment after school.  The third daughter is home, dealing with some issues and is currently unemployed while she figures out her next step.  The house is headed for foreclosure and my husband got his bankruptcy finalized.  The house is a mess and I'm home, dealing with it, although I'm doing a lousy job at it.

Both of our mothers are well and well off, as they have enough money for their needs and most of their wants.  They would both like to see us more, but here we are.  My husband sold two vehicles, bought another one and fixed it up so that it will run for many more miles and years.  His brother has a regular job now, and my siblings are well.  The dog died in December, 2012 and both cats are still alive.  Two houses are built next door to us, and it looks like a third is going in and places that were plotted out for houses five years ago are now having foundations poured, walls raised and "for sale" signs out in front, although no one knows where the buyers are coming from. The general economy of area is still poor, as yet another thrift store has opened.

I am reminded of what was said at one of my daughter's college commencement:  "Prosperity has nothing to do with money."

79 Turning points

Today my blog is going to shift a bit to my health.  "Today I decide to be healthy."

I've got my job starting in a month, and I need to get physically prepared for it.  I know I'm @ 100 pounds over-weight, maybe less, as my weight in college was 170.  I'm 260 this morning.

Yesterday I was thinking about the hymn, "I'll cast my burdens at his feet, and bear a song away." And I thought about that some more, and gave a silent prayer, asking if I could do that, and I got the answer back, a very small, still small voice, that I could.

So I'm going to start with giving 50 pounds to the Lord in this month and during my time at Park and Rec. 30 weeks.  That's a healthy loss of almost 2 pounds a week on average.

I've been exercising, but not steadily.  And I've made some half-hearted attempts at portion control.

Today I need to do better, and everyday. Without the extra weight, I'd be able to buy clothes, and I know I'd feel better and look more employable to others.  I saw one of the moms at Pine Ridge walking in front of me, and I hoped I didn't look like that in the back, and I felt sorry for her.

This morning I took a one-mile walk with the dog down to the river and back, and was pleased that I was able to do the slope without getting winded until about the end, and still have energy when I got home.

I bought over 2 lbs. of broccoli last night, and ate over a pound for dinner with a salmon patty.  No potatoes or bread.

And wealth-wise, I'm thinking about Tabatha Brown's Fashions (no bolts of fabric were cut) sewing.  There was a black curtain with flowers I saw at Goodwill--it would make a beautiful jacket. But the thought of buying it gives me a guilt feeling--that's $8 I could spend on my children or on bills.
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I've been toying with sewing ideas, and one of my fantasies was a business named "Tabitha Brown Fashions," after the Mother of Oregon, a woman named Tabitha Brown, who came out west on one of the worst wagon trains ever assembled, probably second to the Donner Party for its bad luck.  After making it to The Valley, at age 66, destitute but for her family, she found a coin worth 61/2 cents--a picayune--in the finger of a glove, and used it to buy a sewing needle, traded some fabric for buck skin, and made gloves to sell, and that was the start of her fortune. She ended up founding an orphanage, prospered, founded an orphanage (now Pacific University), and died wealthy and well-loved.

What better name to bless the business?

And then I googled the name and found that Tabitha Brown is already in existence as a fashion planner in Tennessee, on Facebook (Australia), a murdered woman in South Carolina, a dead one in Missouri, and a blogger/illustrator on Esty who has her studio named "The Pairabirds".

There's a small business thing at the Library on Tuesdays. I can always check out there using the name there.

50 Sunday is for start-overs

Today I decide to be wealthy.

While cleaning out the sewing room yesterday, I rediscovered a book I'd read over a year ago:  The Job Hunter's Survival Guide, by Dick Bolles.  He puts out an annual job hunting guide, entitled What Color is Your Parachute? which I bought a copy of, and read it, years and years ago. I'll reread it this week. The book is a how-to guide for looking for work in this specific recession where jobs are so scarce and job hunters so plentiful.

Today is Sunday, always a "start over" day, a way to rest and prepare for the next six days.

Shea announced in Fast and Testimony Meeting that she's lost her job.  I almost started crying for her, and I talked to her later.  She's relieved, as the political pressure was so heavy there. When I'd applied last spring, she called to warn me that it was not a healthy place. She seems to be a few years old than I. don't dye my hair, so everyone sees how old I am, but most other people are determined to stay with the color, thank you very much.

On the way home from church, I pointed out the place I'd applied for the housekeeping job, and that I blew it when I admitted to looking for full-time work.  June was with me in the car, and said that she'd be surprised if any jobs were full-time anymore. She told me how she'd talked to a banker some years ago, and he admitted that the jobs were all at 30 hours, so that they wouldn't have to have benefits.  She scolded him, but that's as far as it went.

I got set apart for my calling in the Relief Society, to be a visiting teaching coordinator.  In the blessing I was reminded that the Lord knows my challenges, and that fulfilling my calling would bring spiritual and physical benefits, and there was more. Basically, I'll be made aware of the needs of the sisters in the ward, and reminded that mine are small compared to others.

Decades ago, I had a blessing that told me that I think my sufferings are great, but the Savior's was far greater.   I was reminded of that blessing today.  The one who gave me that one died some time ago, but his spirit still visits me from time to time, sometimes to encourage me, sometime to call me to repentance. I wondered if he was there in the circle.

I had signed up a couple of weeks ago for the missionaries to come for dinner.  My husband was working on a service call, so they couldn't come here. I was very grateful that I had the stuff to make a broccoli and chicken cream soup, which I took over to the West's, where they would be able to pick it up.

Tomorrow I will do more, do better.

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Day 26

Today I decide to be wealthy.

I called the unemployment office and got my new claim going.  I get a new debit card, buy now I suspect that my unemployment income is going way, way down.  But I'll still have something.

I ate sardines tonight, to get my Omega-3.  Still eating too much chocolate.  And I'm working on the Neighbor Impact papers tonight, and I got the mending done for another couple.  My husband is helping another family move tonight.  I knew about helping her pack, but I didn't plan, and I ended up waiting on the phone for an hour and a half to get the unemployment going, and I still didn't have all the information that was needed (I was short about $50 in reporting my income from substituting.)

I've spent too much time moping around today.

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Day 25

Today I decide to be wealthy.

Not much to report today.  Got some minor clothing mending for some friends of mine and I opened up "Writer's Market" for 2010 that I checked out of the library a couple of weeks ago.

Step #3 is to "Win in the Margins," to find some talent or skill or idea that can be used for a profit.  The book had some women who were in financial duress when they came up with the ideas that made them their fame and fortunes.

When I applied for unemployment, I had to go to a workshop about using the career finding resources, and I and two others were called out at the end, and we met with someone who talked to us about creating our own businesses.  I asked about what if I became a writer, and that was immediately shot down.  Which is probably just as well, as I haven't even finished two of my fanfiction books.

Today I saw the guy I blame for the mess we're in. I blame him when I'm not blaming myself for taking his idiotic, abusive financial crap paper and throwing it into the fireplace when I first laid eyes on it.


So, anyway, I dropped in at the Goodwill thrift store, to check on some art supplies that I find there from time to time, and there he was, in the book section.  He hadn't seen me, we didn't make eye contact, so I kept going through the store to get to the fabric section.  (I want to make some steampunk clothing and some other stuff), and there was his third wife, cheerfully going through the clothing.  I said hi, but she either didn't hear me or ignored me, and I kept going.  I did a quick check of table linens and picture frames, and then the yarn area, and then headed out the door.  As I left, I saw that he had his back turned to the door.

I don't think things are going any better than for him.  And the scriptures and the prophets say that I need to pray for him to receive the same blessings that I want for myself.  I wish that I could just let it go, and get on with my life.  It seems that almost every dayI have to deal with it again.

Forgiveness is a process.  Just like some people can have cancer and be instantly healed, and others have to keep working at healing. 

Anyway, today was supposed to be about step #3.  I still have yet to find my pay stubs from my October and November job and reopen my unemployment claim.  Now I'll get off the computer, finish putting in the zipper on the jacket, and go through the papers and find the pay stubs that I know are in there, as I just put them in the box a week ago.

I haven't been exercising, and I've been over-eating.  Wealthy people take care of their health.  I did send off the COBRA payments for the dental and eye glasses insurances.  Haven't paid any other bills for this month, yet.

Today I decide to be wealthy.